I'm Taking Pygmies: Expect that while the man will be hunting, the woman will be fishing and building huts
Marriage is one of the most important moments in a person's life. However, when the lives of two people from completely different cultural environments intertwine, this moment gains an even more unique dimension. An example is a marriage with a Pygmy, a member of a native African tribe, whose culture and traditions are completely different from those we are used to in Europe or other parts of the world.
One example is the story of a French anthropologist who got married to a man from the Baka tribe in Cameroon. Initially, they faced many misunderstandings from both families, but their relationship showed that love and respect can overcome prejudices. It was similar with Lundi, my friend from the tribe, who was loved by a Czech man. Their story began on travels when Tomáš, an enthusiastic explorer and adventurer, came to their village to study life in indigenous tribes. He was fascinated by how these communities function in perfect harmony with nature, so he decided to spend some time among them. Lundi was impressed by his wisdom, determination, and extraordinary charisma he radiated. Conversely, he was captivated by her approach to life, her ability to connect people and perceive the world around her with deep respect. Their relationship evolved slowly because they both began to understand cultural differences, but also the beauty of this peculiar love that connected two very different worlds. After several years of mutual getting to know each other, they decided that their paths could no longer go separately. Thus, Lundi became the wife of Tomas, who set off on a journey full of new challenges, adventures, and shared work between two completely different worlds with her. He decided to live with her in the tribe.
The marriage of a European and Pygmy brings many challenges, but also opportunities to learn about cultural differences. For a European, it can be difficult to understand a lifestyle without technological conveniences or individual focus. Conversely, the Pygmies may be surprised by our modern way of life, materialism, and formalities.
Nevertheless, such a union can be a beautiful example of how love can bridge cultural differences. Partners can pass on a different view of the world to each other and learn to mutually respect their values.
Who are the Pygmies?
The Pygmies are an indigenous ethnic group living in the tropical rainforests of Central Africa. They are known for their shorter stature, which is the result of evolutionary adaptation to life in rainforests. Their culture is deeply intertwined with nature. They subsist on hunting, gathering and still live a simple way of life, often without modern technologies.
Adaptation to Life in Africa
If a couple lived in an African country, the European woman would have to learn to live in an environment that is different from what she is used to in Europe. Many African tribes, including the Pygmies, live in a natural environment that requires a strong connection with nature, hunting and crop gathering. The woman could participate in daily housework and in many cases would have to adapt to different ways of life that are completely different from city life in Europe.
Cultural and language differences could pose a significant challenge for a couple. The European woman would have to learn a new language common in the Pygmy community and adapt to their lifestyle and values, which differ from those known in Europe. This can involve learning new habits, diet, and communication. These differences can be challenging but can also strengthen the relationship, as both partners must show patience, respect, and willingness to adjust.
Choosing a Bride and Engagement
When a European woman decides to marry a Pygmy, it can be out of love, interest in his culture, or for other personal reasons. In some cases, the decision about marriage can also be influenced by various social factors, such as work, study, or volunteering activities in African countries. Pygmies often live in small communities and traditions like choosing a partner are usually very strongly tied to family and tribal customs.
The wedding process itself begins even before the engagement itself, when the families of the potential newlyweds go through certain formal steps. It usually starts with a young man choosing a bride, whom he often meets through family ties or in the community.
Engagement ceremony
Once the bride is selected, an engagement ceremony is held where both families exchange gifts, such as different types of food, household items, tools, or clothing. This act serves as confirmation of the agreement and interest in continuing the marriage. The ritual can be accompanied by singing and dancing, which are an important part of social events for Pygmies.
Wedding Ceremony
The wedding ceremony often takes place in the circle of family and friends. Rituals include spiritual and natural elements, where young couples express their relationship to ancestors and nature. In some cases, special sacrifices are made to the spirits of the ancestors to ensure the happiness and fertility of the new couple. In this context, a European woman could learn traditional dances and participate in ceremonies that would enable her to be accepted as a new member of the community.
Wedding Gifts
Pygmies usually exchange gifts at weddings that have practical value. The bride's gifts may include various types of clothing, food, tools or products that will help the new couple in their daily life. Many gifts also symbolize wealth and protection against misfortune.
Week of Celebrations
After the wedding itself, there is a celebration that can last several days. During this time, you enjoy food, dancing, and singing, while families and friends are invited to socialize. Many Pygmies believe that this week is necessary for the young couple to enter a new stage of life and receive blessings for their family.
Entry into the new life
After the wedding, the young couple starts a new life. At this stage, a woman can be considered fully integrated into her husband's community. In the case of the Pygmies, who live in small tribes, it can be important for the married couple to become an active member of the community. Activities such as hunting, gathering, or child care will be on the daily schedule.
Fertility and protection
Fertility is a key aspect of Pygmy wedding traditions. In many cases, it is considered very important for the married couple to have children as soon as possible after the wedding. Therefore, in some cases, additional rituals and prayers for protection and fertility are performed so that the couple has a happy and fertile life.
Cultural differences and adaptation to traditions
For a European woman, such a marriage could become a challenge in many respects. In many African communities, including the Pygmies, it is customary to raise children in a strong family and community environment, where the wife takes over the responsibility for the household, while the man often hunts, gathers or takes care of the material needs of the family. A European woman would have to adapt to these traditions, which could involve learning new ways of life.
And what does life really look like after the wedding?
Inside the Pygmy community in Cameroon
The forested lands of Central and West Africa bordering the Atlantic Ocean are home to the Pygmies, who are known as the smallest people in the world. Although the Pygmies are thousands of years old, they attract attention with their primitive lifestyle, which they have maintained since the "First Age".
No reliable information exists about the origin of the Pygmies. They have lived in this area for approximately 5,000 years, and it has been proven that they are among the oldest inhabitants of Africa.
These indigenous people, who are about 120 centimeters tall, were named "Pygmy", which for Europeans means "dwarf". They have a wide chin, flat noses, and big eyes.
It is estimated that there are about 120,000 Pygmies in the world today. Most of them live in a forested area near the Atlantic Ocean in Cameroon. Smaller groups of Pygmies also occur in Rwanda, Burundi, Central African Republic, Democratic Republic of Congo, Zambia, Gabon and Angola.
The Pygmies in Cameroon are divided into two groups, the Pygmies of the Baka tribe and the Bage. The Pygmies of the Baka tribe spend their lives in undiscovered parts of the forest out of public view, while the Pygmies of the Bage tribe live together with Bantumi. They represent one of the largest tribes in Cameroon, living in areas close to the forests.
The Pygmies, who live in small groups, build temporary huts for living from bamboo trunks and large leaves they collected from trees. They still lead a primitive life. They spend most of their time hunting in deep forests and gathering fruit plants.
Without using money, they trade the products they have hunted and gathered with other groups in exchange for their needs. By organizing various competitions, they teach their children how to hunt and gather.
These people use a method of work sharing to satisfy their daily needs. Women are involved in fishing and building huts, while men go hunting. The Pygmies, who often move for game, prepare wooden and stone arrows and spears for hunting monkeys, antelope, gazelles, and elephants. They are also known for their expertise in climbing trees. Within the programs, Pygmies are educated in various fields, such as agriculture, beekeeping, and animal husbandry.
Although they are accepted as citizens of the countries in which they live over time, they still cannot use many social services, such as health care. Pygmies run their social life according to very complicated rules, and therefore generally prefer individuals from their own tribe in marriage, but there are exceptions. Although polygamy is not prohibited, it is rarely found in their culture.
The rainforests, in which Pygmies live, are quickly consumed by wood and its harvesting. Their living space is shrinking day by day because they do not have permission to live in the forests that are being transformed into national parks.
The Pygmies speak a language called "Mabi" or "Mabea". It is exceptional for them. They have poems and epic stories that are passed down from generation to generation.
They worship a single god called "Komba" and believe that he created everything. They also believe in an afterlife, because they believe that the souls of their ancestors are everywhere, so they keep dead bodies inside tree bark and caves.
Marriage in the Mbuti tribe is conducted through sister exchange
Mbuti or otherwise Bambuti, are a group of Pygmies from the Ituri forest in eastern Congo (Kinshasa). They are the smallest group of Pygmies in Africa, with an average height less than 137 cm.
Mbuti live in villages, which are categorized as groups. Each hut is a family unit. At the beginning of the dry season they leave the village, enter the forest and establish a series of camps. In this way, they can utilize a larger area of land for maximum food gathering. The villages are solitary and separate from other groups of people. Their houses are small, round and very temporary. Mbuti don't have any chiefs or formal councils of elders. They solve their problems and disputes through general discussion.
Marital customs
Marriage in the Mbuti tribe is carried out through the exchange of sisters. Based on mutual exchange, men from other groups will exchange sisters or other women from their clan with a man from the clan of their future bride.
In Mbuti, polygamy occurs, but it is not too common. Sexual intercourse of married couples is considered an act completely different from the intercourse of the unmarried, as children can be conceived only in marriage.
Everything in the Bambuti's life is centered around the forest. They regard the forest as their great protector and provider, and believe it is a sacred place.
An important ritual that influences the life of Bambuti is called molimo. This ritual is part of their spiritual life and serves to honor the spirits of nature, animals, and ancestors. Prayer is also a way to express respect and gratitude for the blessings that nature provides them with. During this ceremony, ritual songs are often sung and danced, which have a magical and protective function. Tribal shamans or religious leaders play an important role in directing these rituals. They communicate with spirits through music, dance, and singing and seek blessings for their community.
The prayer ritual is considered one of the most important religious ceremonies in the life of the Pygmies, as it helps maintain balance between man, nature, and the spiritual world. In the case of the Mbuti, this ceremony can take various forms depending on the specific community and their traditions, but in all cases, it is a profound way of connecting with nature and deity, which are essential for their daily life.
A marriage between a European woman and a Pygmy represents a unique cultural challenge, where differences in everyday life, values, languages, and traditions meet. However, if both partners are willing to understand and accept mutual differences, they can create a harmonious relationship that enriches both cultures and brings new perspectives to their shared life. These marriages can be examples for the global community that love and mutual respect have no boundaries.
Source: author's text, own inquiry, dailysabah.com, talkafricana.com
