Fast Confession – Vlastina Kounická Svátková: I cannot pretend to be someone else
Actress Vlastina Kounická Svátková was interviewed by Luxury Prague Life a year ago, after the birth of her third son and just before moving from the big city to the village. After one year, when she has already begun working because of a high mortgage, she took the time to be interviewed again and there was a lot to talk about. No mummy worries, but interesting work. Within a few months, she has not only learned gardening, but she has managed to write a book that her fans have demanded on social networks, where Vlastina is perhaps the only ingenuous, sincere and natural person in our country. Thanks to her openness she not only positively influences the general public, but also averts a life tragedy.
You have lived in Líbeznice for over a year now, how is life there, was it a big change?
It was a fundamental change because it's really outside of Prague, which means that everyone living in Prague is already far away. They do not want to visit and they do not want to call a taxi, so you're cut off from most people and you become a lone wolf. Of course, you can ride to the center, but you don't even want to, and you don't mind. You get used to the silence and quiet and the village where you have a post office and one grocery store, the kids go to school by foot and it's okay. Which is such a paradox, because I thought this would never happen to me and I would never leave Prague because I need to have everything close.
And then, when I go to Prague, I curse when I don't have a place to park, that there are too many people here and they all push each other. I curse and say, "Do you want to come to Líbeznice? There is such a beautiful gardening shop and a café". And the people who like me and really want to, they come.
So you're a villager?
Well, I have a big garden here. I recently fertilized and ended up with an acute allergic reaction in Bulovka hospital. I'm learning to be a villager, maybe one day I'll manage and know exactly how to plant, fertilize, dig and use the mower. Maybe I'll live to see the day. And my husband, too...
I still see you as a mom of three with a huge house, so you have no time, but you've done a lot of work in the last year, you've written your third book.
Yes, but this time it's very special, because it's all mine. That means I'm publishing it myself. Even though a publisher approached me and offered me a collaboration, I somehow intuitively told myself that I was going to choose the hardest way, and I would just try to do it all, create and put it out, by myself, without the help of a publisher.
I searched some printing shops, asked for prices, then I looked for a graphic editor, a language editor, I had to get an ISBN number in the library, get an e-shop, approach a journalist. I'm glad I did it like that. The book will be released at the end of October and will be available at www.prostorprodusi.com or in the Neoluxor and Luxor bookstores.
You talked about the book while you were still in Prague, so I thought somebody asked you for it...
Well, the people on Instagram asked for it, my followers, fans. I wrote a status that was quite long, and they commented that I was probably the only one whose posts they read to the end, and that they would like to read them in a book. It probably would not have occurred to me to do it, nor would I have found the energy. But when I knew people wanted it and they would buy the book, I said, "Okay, so I'll write a book for you," and that's how it slowly started.
At that moment, the publishing house approached me, gave me a deadline, told me how long I had to write it and how many pages they wanted. But I said I wanted to write the way I feel it, when I have something to write, not to be forced to think of something, to write any old babble. I just have to write when I know I have something to say.
I honestly also read your statuses to the end, and I think they appeal to a lot of people. So what is the book about, who will be able to relate to it?
This book is called A Space for the Soul, because it is about life. I think life is actually a space for the soul. We are born and we try to somehow function here. The cover of the book is actually shot under water, when my character is between the bottom and the surface. I feel that our life is a metaphor, that sometimes we are deep down and other times we feel good somewhere above the surface near the light, that we oscillate up and down and strive to find balance so that we are somewhere between, where our soul is calm and peaceful. And that's what life is about: We're constantly trying to feel good and sometimes we manage, sometimes we don't.
In the individual chapters, such as self-worth, boundaries, love, I contemplate the things that touch all of us, and add my experience. Like how at thirty-five I learned to set borders and say no. I talk about how I'm not good at it, and how important it is in life to be able to set boundaries where we feel it's us and that it's okay when no one is pushing us. Not to betray ourselves just to avoid conflict. All we do is create a conflict with ourselves.
This is the self-love that is constantly being talked about – love yourself, love yourself – but no one will tell you how.
And do you already know how?
I think I have figured it out, and I have also realized that it's terribly hard. But when one realizes that this is it, one tries every day and practices it as if learning a foreign language, so it gets better. In a year or two you will find that you have moved on somewhere and it is beautiful to see that you are not the same person. You are more courageous, more proud of yourself, you can stand up for yourself, perhaps you leave a job that is not fulfilling, and you risk it because you are not so afraid of what will be.
When one of your fans writes to you, can you advise him/her in a particular case?
The book was actually created because women write to me and they really open up to me and wonder how I succeeded in being so happy now. But I'm not always happy. That's what I try to explain to them, that it's not entirely normal to be nonstop happy, that it doesn't happen often. We also have to accept that sometimes we are not well and we are uncomfortable, sad, tired, and that it is all right. That the orthodox optimistic wave, when we must all be positive, is just the road to depression. I try to point out the pressure of society, where we have to be amazing, perfect, especially we as women, we are expected to be able to handle all the roles, and still be beautiful, skinny and cheerful.
I'm not a therapist, I cannot go deep down and pull people up from the bottom. Even if I did a therapeutic course, it would probably not be my thing to sit as a therapist with someone every day and talk to them for an hour. But the book might push someone to go to the therapist or stop and think about their lives or reassess certain things that are not satisfied and happy about, whether it be work or a relationship.
Have you yourself gone through depression?
I didn't suffer from the classic clinical depression, it wasn't so bad that I couldn't get out of bed in the morning and did not enjoy life. I have dark and sad moods, I'm a sensitive person, and maybe a little hypersensitive, and a lot of sensitive people have this thing, that certain things get them down, they overthink them, analyze them from all angles. They are not phlegmatic enough to dismiss it with a wave of the hand, how many times I have wished I wouldn't worry about things so much and could just say, "Oh well, it didn't work out, let's move on." When something fundamental happens in my life, or something is not working, I often worry about it and often I am sad and unhappy. I will not let it be, but I have to break it down to the last detail and solve it, which is not ideal in a relationship. Because the guy doesn't always want to deal with things.
What exactly?
Women are sensitive, and men disconnect from emotions rather than having to deal with things and worry about them. Thus, the masculine and feminine worlds sometimes by-pass each other, but there is room for growth in both. Women can learn to stay more calm and not deal with certain situations so emotionally, and men can learn to interact and communicate with their women in a better and more open manner. There is no point in whimpering, jabbing and pushing the man. Want to solve everything immediately and on the spot. We should be able to make ourselves happy.
Do men also write to you, do they follow you?
Men also follow me, there are not so many, but sometimes the wives write to me saying they showed it to their husbands. A few men have written to me, but there are not so many. I do not undress and I do not show my ass, so I don't expect men to follow me, but of course, the more sophisticated and intelligent men write and follow me.
What do you they write, for example?
Normally, they talk about the deeper matters like the soul, and they are surprised to find that they have found someone on Instagram with whom they can talk about such things. They're surprised, because we all expect to find the more superficial things on Instagram.
It's such a contrast when you put a picture there with no make up and then write something deep like that. What do you about the Instagram world?
If people follow me and I have some way of influencing and inspiring them, I cannot pretend to be someone other than who I really am. If we are to act on someone and pass something on to someone, we cannot pretend that we are always amazing, great and perfect.
When I show what a tummy after birth looks like, and that's what all women's tummies look like after birth, or almost all of them, so many mothers are relieved that they do not have to have ab muscles right after delivery and they do not have to fit into their old clothes. We carried a baby, and the body needs time to get back to normal. I do not see why I should pretend I have a wonderful belly after delivery when I don't, and cause depression in other women.
It's true, you are very open and honest, which is not common in today's world. Have you come across someone who only wanted to use you through social networks?
The only one who misuses my openness are the tabloids. They will steal it without asking, of course, they will write a tabloid headline on what I have written openly about, and turn it against me. I've gotten used to it. Actually, I do not care at all, I take it they are promoting me, even bad advertising is advertising. Normal people do not read tabloids.
Has it ever happened that someone wrote to you that they have suicidal tendencies, and you managed to avert a loss of life?
Yes, it happened to me that a woman who was going through a difficult life situation wrote to me and I only gave her the courage to believe she could do it herself, and told her I understand what she is going through because I had gone through something like that, and when when it passes, things will get better again. She overcame it, she was able to end the relationship, even though she had small children, she was able to leave, because there was abuse, she was able to take the first step and start over again.
It's amazing because this woman should be incredibly proud of herself. Being alone with the children and having to manage without help...
How does your marriage work? Last time you said you were so in love with each other, you got married, had a child, and then suddenly you see the little differences. How does it all work? Are you happy?
I'm happy and I acknowledge that the relationship goes through some phases, and these phases are all very important. In the beginning, there was the euphoria, we met a "soul mate" - in quotes, because I do not really believe in soulmates - and at some point reality hits. Moving in together, a big house, big mortgage, we both have to work. There are four children, because my husband has a daughter from his previous relationship. Sometimes we fall, we are so weary that we do not have the strength and the energy. These are the typical things that the relationship needs to overcome, and maybe it will strengthen it even more, that's what I believe.
When will we see you, where will you shoot? Or are you just devoted to writing books and making jewelry?
When I talked about the borders, I created them in my profession as well. I realized I was going to work and was not really happy because I wasn't doing what I wanted. So I set the limits there and started to say NO to the job. I started choosing, which can generate that for half a year, one year I don't do anything, but it's my conscious decision. Yes, I could do ten things, but I do not want to film them. These are projects that did not appeal to me, I did not like the format and just worried and was angry that I was doing it just for the money. Only doing what I enjoy is a risky step, of course.
My friend Zuzana Šulajová and I have a brand of luxury gold jewelry called Adore. It's a hobby we want to enjoy, we do not want to be a big factory. We also try to work in a way so that every piece of jewelry is precise and well made, each piece has its own story and is an original.
Additionally, of course, I have three children, which take up a lot of my time, plus I choose my projects, so the jewelry remains merely a hobby.
And in what can we see you?
I am currently filming Policie Modrava in Šumava.
You are an inspiration for people in the way you dress, but I heard somewhere that you buy in second hand shops...?
I love to buy in second hand shops, not everything, but I like to combine it. I buy expensive, designer pieces that are timeless, not just for one season, but I know I can wear them for three or four years, like a cashmere coat, a leather jacket, a handbag that will last for a lifetime. I'm willing to invest in it, and then those eccentric pieces, I get those from a second hand or vintage store. I enjoy playing with it. Fashion is a game. I go my own way and buy what I like. I'm the same way in fashion as I am in my life. I try to be myself.
