Fast Confession - Míša Mauerová: I'm not hiding my partner, he just doesn't want to be a public person

You are currently on maternity leave. How does it feel to be the mother of three children?

I'm not exactly on maternity leave. I'm not saying it's something to brag about, but I'm glad to be able to find time for work, too, and to be able to combine it so well that I don't completely fall out of the routine.

Being the mother of three children means that there's three times as much of everything – three times as much worries, exhaustion, but also joy, happiness and love, and everything is three times faster as well.

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Were you planning a third child?

After the twins, I said to myself that it wasn't possible to plan such a thing, which is largely given by nature and circumstances. When I met my boyfriend, I knew it would be a shame not to have a child with a guy like him, and I knew that a child was a natural outcome of a relationship.

At that time I was dealing with the afthermath of a relationship "car crash" and I was seriously considering whether it was a good idea to start living with someone again, let alone have another child. I knew what a commitment it was, especially in the moments that one doesn't realize will eventually come when in love, but they do happen in life. How even a completely love-fooled person can behave then. I was thinking about it hard, and now I'm glad we have our little one, and I think she made our family circle complete in a beautiful way.

But there is no mention of your boyfriend anywhere, not even a photo...

We go to restaurants together like everyone else, people do meet us. We're not hiding, I just respect his wishes, and I actually understand him more and more in not wanting to be publicly known.

He has nothing to do with my work. He belongs to me, Míša Maurerová, and at home I am a partner, a mother, a cleaning lady, a cook - everything but work. It's not necessary to force him to go public. It's not that I'm concealing something sensational, such as him having four arms or a crooked head. He's a handsome, likeable guy with whom I feel fine and who doesn't want to have his photos in the media, doesn't want to be publicly discussed, and I respect it.

And how did you manage to keep it private for so long?

Because I'm not as huge as Lucie Bíla or other world-class celebrities. In my case, the media aren't trying that hard and respect that I chose not to show him off and not take him anywhere.

Even before I had Emička, I used to go to parties and other events rather sporadically, I am quite choosy. We go to private events together and when I'm attending a public event, I go alone or with a friend. We're not trying to prevent it at all costs, but we're not rushing it either.

And if, for example, you got married, would you change your surname or keep yours?

A wedding is not on the agenda yet. I haven't vetoed it, but it's not something I'm currently thinking about either. But I would probably try to include his surname in my name.

Fact is that it's impossible for our entire family to ever have the same surname, because my children have their father's surname (Kožíšek, ed.). I wouldn't be opposed to taking his surname, but on the other hand, I already see my last name as a brand that I've been working on for some time, so I would definitely keep it for work.

And I find it unfair to people who follow me, listen to me and perceive me as a well-known person in my area of work, that they'd have to get used to a new name. I will always be Míša Mauerová, just like Andrea Kerestešová's name stuck, for example, although I'm doing my best to think of her as Růžičková. It's the same with many other girls who got married, I still see their maiden names when I think of them.

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That about your twins? They've grown a lot since I last saw you.

They've just hit puberty. Only lightly so far, but they are great team mates. Because they're very fond of Emička, they help me with her a lot. It's four extra hands that I really need in this 24/7 crazy ride.

It is difficult with them in other respects. They are increasingly more demanding. As they say, bigger children, bigger worries – and I can confirm it's true. The worries never stop, they just transform into something else. Being sleepy and having to keep track of a baby, making sure it won't get in harm's way, is no longer an issue, but now it's about having more interaction.

You have to be careful not to miss anything, watch what they're feeling and experiencing. But they are a great team and I have to admit that when I look at them, as a pack of sorts, I get all mushy. I've never imagined having two children, let alone three. When I see them playing together, cuddling, I feel really good. It's like a parental orgasm for me.

How about your work? Everyone still sees you as hairdresser Digi from the TV series Ulice...

Fortunately, I have already attracted a second group of people, which remembers me rather from Bedekr, as a travel magazine guide. I really enjoy my work. It's a form of therapy for me in that I run away from reality and everyday worries. I am the type that gets fulfillment from motherhood, but it's not enough.

So I need some form of self-fullfillment, also because I want my kids to be proud that their mom is doing something that has a different value than preparing tasty snacks and tidying their room. At the same time, I go to work to relax a little and sift my brain, so that I wouldn't forget to speak other than "woof woof" and "wee wee". It's important to maintain some level of intelligence and social communication.

So I go to work. Of course, I can only do as much as childcare, house work and things like that allow, because in the hierarchy of priorities, being a mother takes the first place for me, work comes second, but that is also very important.

And how do directors, screenwriters and the like look at it?

We were all children once. Many of them are parents. I found that when you're honest and say, "Look, I'm awfully sleepy" or "My child has a terrible cold and a fever, I have to go home," I know people are forgiving, and unless they were cold-blooded careerists with sharp elbows, who only cared about work and nothing else, they have always been tolerant, willing to make a compromise, and they understood that I couldn't be available at the moment.

I think that even some of the biggest managers are mothers, just like there are fathers among managers, so they understand that worrying about your children and needing to take care of them comes first. We've always managed to find a compromise and come to an agreement. It's true that I can't accept every work offer, because sometimes it is so time consuming that it couldn't be combined, also because our grandmothers aren't helping much, so we have to take turns in child care for the time being.

We are doing fairly well in that department. Right from the start, when I was pregnant, he told me that he naturally wanted me to be able to go to work, because I enjoy it and it also generates a fair amount of money for our family budget, and that we would always sort it out, and I have to say that in this respect, he didn't go back on his word. So I never leave the little cricket for long, but I do leave to get some work done, relax, stay in touch with my area of work, refine my intelligence and not go out of practice. But I love to come back to my family and always look forward to it. I'm glad I can look forward to going home and seeing my children.

Hasn't your fan circle changed, too? You already had two children, but they have already grown up a bit. Now you're also reaching out to a large group of mothers with small children. That must be intense.

It is intense and sometimes it even makes me laugh, because I used to behave just like them as a new mother. You feel like your children are actually the center of the universe and like you're doing the most important job in the world, which is kind of true, but then that feeling of uniqueness grows a bit stale on you and you realize that everyone has a child and everyone is dealing with it.

It's a thing all people go through, and if you don't give it hundred and fifty percent, the child will grow up, learn to talk, learn to walk, and so on anyway. So now I have a more relaxed approach to motherhood, which sometimes grants me the necessary humor. That's why some mothers are following me, because they feel like I am experiencing the same things they are, but I'm actually keeping some distance from it.

And what do you think, for example, about mothers who decided to write a blog about their experience with parenting?

I understand them. Sometimes you need to go and write it out. It is a form of therapy. I think that social networks, blogs and the like mostly work as autotherapy. I had twins at a time when Facebook and other networks had just started, and there weren't so many bloggers and influencers, so maybe I would have chosen this form of therapy, too, but looking back I can see that it's not that difficult. I get messages from moms who have far more children and much more complicated care for them and they are handling it with more ease than me. So I don't want to pretend to be some kind of mentor. Someone who has the right to preach about it, because I really don't.

I am simply a woman who freely decided to have three children and is glad for that. It's a rollercoaster ride, though. I don't get any sleep, which is normal, I'm tired, I had trouble with breastfeeding, that's also normal, the poop of my kids stinks, and even that's normal. These are things that everyone has to deal with, whether you are a celebrity or an anonymous lady, who lives in the countryside and struggles with it in a her own way, but you feel your uniqueness and the uniqueness of your children, and because they are your children, your love for them and your everyday experiences are intense for you. It is, however, necessary to realize that everyone everywhere experiences this in the same way.

Would you like to add something more to your work?

Not really, my work is very varied now and I am thankful for that. Basically, I owe a lot to social networks and Instagram. They allow me to earn money thanks to various cooperations, so that I could have a pleasant maternity leave for a while. I'm not ashamed of it, I don't mind saying it, although I pride myself on only entering into organic, authentic collaborations, and never in my life have I tied my name to any product only for the sake of money, but mostly because it's something I use and believe in.

With this approach, I'm showing my followers that they can trust me in this regard. It's something akin to my diary. And just like in a diary, I always look back on what I was doing two years ago, what I was feeling and I can even analyze it.

A lot of celebrities put their kids in adds, too. Has it occured to you that your children could be engaged in that?

If my older ones choose to, I will naturally give them my permission, if it convenes with various things. I used to think it would be really nice if my son Pepa became a doctor like his grandpa, and my daughter Madla a lawyer.

You know how it goes, having a lawyer and a doctor in the family can be useful and these professions will always be prestigious, regardles of the time they'll live in, they'll have enough money, they'll be happy and it would simply be awesome. But as I get older, I don't want to say wiser, I'm starting to think, main thing is that they're happy. Pepa, for example, really likes to work with wood and I know good carpenters and good craftsmen in general are much in demand nowadays.

From times past, craft has a negative connotation – it used to be those people who couldn't do better than apprenticeship - but today it is the other way around. Mostly, when I meet a really good craftsman from a family-run business, it's someone who really loves his job and is booked out a year or two in advance. So I told myself that if Pepa is happy, it doesn't matter whether he becomes one of those guys working in a corporation with a laptop on their knees, especially since everyone wants to do that nowadays.

And Madlenka has this social awareness. She's been helping since she was little, she takes care of Pepa, for example. She's a very good little girl. She also enjoys giving massages, I had to make her a towel, she sewed a massage pillow herself, she has massage oils… She just loves to give massages to people in her family and she wants to help people, which made me realize there's nothing better than providing a service, for which you're valued by others, who need it, and finding it enjoyable and fullfilling.

So why not let her do it? She doesn't have to become a lawyer just because it was my dream for her future. It's practically lying about something in favor of something else according to some rules. She's incredibly fair and kind, and probably couldn't do such a job anyway.

I'm also interested in your sewing, because you've been sewing for a long time. Is there any progress?

For me it's therapy. I need to dedicate myself to something that forces my brain to switch off because I always get overwhelmed, keep thinking about a million of things, and then sometimes I feel like my head is so full I need to let something out, sometimes it gives me a huge headache. When I'm sewing, I concentrate on the cuts and fabrics and I'm working with my hands. Even with other handicrafts like crocheting, knitting, I actually get to relax.

You've also bought a new machine for it!

I got a sewing machine and I'm about to take a course with a renowned tailor this weekend, who will teach me how to use it. I told myself that craft is something nobody can ever take away from you. Like, anything can happen, there could be a war, so I thought that craft has some value, it's a know how I can keep, and maybe it will come in handy one day. Nobody says I'll be an actress or a host for the rest of my life.

I've met you at BackYard, so I know you're interested in fashion. Do you also sew for others, or just for your family?

I've considered it many times. Of course, my execution isn't all that perfect. I could be an ideamaker, make prototypes or suchlike, and someone much more skilled could make the real thing, but since I follow Czech design and Czech fashion, I saw there were so many people with good ideas and talent that I wouldn't really dare to dabble in their craft and try to be on par with them. I told myself that the only thing I would do for it was that I'd learn the technique properly and go from there.

I have my dreams, I'd also like to see myself hanging next to the designers in BackYard, for example, and see if people like my ideas and if they enjoy it. They responded very well to the skirts. It is actually a very simple thing from my beginnings, quite primitive, but I liked the idea, so I sewed skirts for a few women, mostly friends. After that, my boyfriend bought me the domain suknickarka.cz for Christmas, thinking that I would make this little dream of mine come true. But it's not that simple. If you want to pursue this, you need a tax code, you have to get an EET and all the other related nonsense. This means that bureaucratic hurdles get in the way of this talent, "small business", and when you find yourself at the point in life when you're desperately trying to save energy, it completely kills your desire to continue.

You're also learning how to tap dance, why?

I've just reached a kind of milestone for women, at least that's how I perceive it. The big forty, that's when you start thinking that the youthful and more productive part of your life is already behind you. The next forty years are ahead of me, and while they may not necessarily be worse, they'll be different.

But I probably won't have time to achieve a lot of things anymore, I won't be able to get another degree unless I decide to study at the university of the third age. I probably won't be able to travel around the world as a single women, either I'll have to wait or take the kids along. Simply put, there's a "but" in everything. But there are a few things I have always wanted to achieve, and these include learning how to tap dance. I've always wanted to learn it very much, I've always liked it, and since it's not part of the education at DAMU, I thought I'd just like to try it out, buy tap shoes, reward myself and sign up for it.

Coincidentally, as it happens, while thinking about it, I stumbled upon an acquitance, a friend of Pavel Strouhal, who belongs to the best choreographers and pioneers of tap dance in our country. He said, "Look, I have these lessons every Monday at this and this time, you may come there any time it suits you."

So I go to these lessons with young talented dancers, girls in a great shape, I'm always puffing like a mare, but I'm fulfilling my dream and it's my quality time. So far, the most difficult thing about tap dancing seems to be finding a babysitter that would allow me to leave the house and dance for an hour, but it's really nice to know that these things are not unrealistic. It's all about wanting it enough and doing something about it. In all respects.

It's the same thing, whether it is tap dancing or sewing. Actually, that's a hobby my boyfriend, who supports me in it incredibly, discovered for me. He has his own things and hobbies and sports, which he spends a lot of time doing outside his work, so he wants me to have something that I enjoy, so that I could relax, which is really nice and I think he is exceptional in this respect. That's why I love him so much. He wants me to be content and happy, which is really nice, to meet a person like that.

Míša, thank you for the interview.