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We don't need anything other than the internet to live anymore!

FAIR AND SQUARE: Voluntary self-imprisonment aka We don't need anything other than the internet to live anymore!

Anděla Vostrá
13.Aug 2019
+ Add on Seznam.cz
4 minutes

Today I'd like to have a look at life in the third millennium. It's great. We have everything, but we even have what we've never wanted or weren't able to imagine that we could have. BUT... Do you remember the times when we only had a fixed land line at home, when we had to meet up, go to the store, and when we wanted to socialize, we had to just go out, around the block, where all friends met up? It's not that way anymore, doesn't have to be. It's frightening, but these days we don't even have to poke our noses out of our lair, be it rental or our own. A click is enough to have anything turn up at our doorstep.

Virtual sex is not new
Rosamunde Pike in the movie Surrogates
Bruce Willis in the movie Surrogates

Statistics claim that we spend up to 90% of our time indoors. Sure, with the global warming considered, who'd wanna be outside in the forty degree heat amidst the scorching buildings. Most of us, including me, do not own a pool, which I personally consider my personal failure in life. Throughout my adult life I actually haven't even been able to even score a guy that'd have his own pool, but that's a different story.

Then it's too cold in winter, in spring and fall it rains too much, even though farmers are crying in the news on TV every year that there's not enough rain and the prices will go up. So we spend our time at home, in office buildings, in shopping centers. Therefore the 10% of time we actually spend outside, we're just passing through.

Pronájem bytu 3+kk - Praha 1 - 108
Pronájem bytu 3+kk - Praha 1 - 108, Praha 1

Drive-through is a hit in Las Vegas

When I visited Las Vegas for the first time some ten years ago, and even back then the heat there was unbearable, I was surprised how many things you can do as "drive-through". Meaning you do it from your car. You can even get married that way, without having to get your ass out of your ride! I was telling myself how sick that was, but the stuff that's happening now, that I don't even have the right to complain about because I'm a bit of a supporter of the modern mindset - doing everything online, it's a disease of affluence, beyond the line of normalcy.

Home office

The unfortunate people who are employed and have to commute daily to their place of work because their boss isn't in favor of home office, make it out at least when they're going from home to the office. There they're perched in front of a computer for eight hours, and if the porn and social media aren't blocked on there, they really have to work. But those that have freedom of choice when it comes to employment and can work from home, really don't have to leave their house. Ever.

Open in gallery (2)
Source: Pixabay

If we're hungry and have a kitchen at our disposal, it's enough to click on what we want to cook and a driver will fetch it for us from the store. It doesn't even have to be a chain store, farmers have also realized that people want their overpriced home-grown bio food delivered to their home.

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Anything will be brought home today
Anything will be brought home todaySource: Pixabay

Same with clothing. If a clothing store doesn't have an e-shop in this day and age, it's as if it didn't even exist.

When it comes to entertainment, movie theaters are only for suckers at this point. Aside from the tickets having reached astronomical prices, along with my favorite ham&cheese flavored popcorn, these days you can download anything in a few moments, or stream it online, be it on Netflix, Apple TV or HBO.

You're free to study from the comfort of your home, visit a doctor or various offices. The Pirate Party is still working on improving online services, but I have to admit, it's really getting better.

Even though outdoor gyms have been popping up all over the country

like mushrooms after rain, many young people use apps that simply happily tell you how fat you are, what to eat, how to exercise, how often, how long. I personally love Shawn T. He's a dark-skinned muscular hunk smiling at me from the screen and telling me that I can do it. I love him. Even though he's gay. He does 45 minute workout sessions and after about 10 minutes I hate him. Then I hate myself, because I'll never look like the bimbos that work out with him.

Well, and from exercise it's only a step to one of the basic human needs, which is sex. No one to do it with? Doesn't matter, Tinder's here for you! One "swipe right" and within moments a person thirsty for love with "Stallion" in their online handle might be ringing your doorbell. We can't discuss the size and aptitude of use of the instrument, that's something that needs to be found out. Sometimes it's not so wonderful. But still better than virtual sex, which people are having in large numbers all over the world anyway. Then virtual relationships happen, even virtual children. Sci-fi. Not for me.

The age in which we'll be having sex without even touching each other will, hopefully, not affect me, there would be no point to living anymore, not even for me. And what about prostitutes? Not even those will get laid anymore, and the world's oldest profession will cease to exist. Too bad. Hope somebody will start a demonstration against this. Wait, no, that'd require people going outside.

Sociopaths and illnesses

One thing's clear. Thanks to the modern online world people become more introverted, don't talk to each other as much. We've all seen this - a couple at a restaurant isn't looking at each other but at their phones. Kids aren't chasing each other around a tree or trying to climb it, they're sitting under it, faces illuminated by phone screens. And that's the better option, when their parents have kicked them out out the house for a bit so that they wouldn't just sit at home. Unfortunately this gave rise to various phobias, depression, sadness. We can't be surprised then that somebody crawls out of their house after weeks in isolation with only their computer, tablet and phone, and shoots somebody, or pushes them under a train.

Have you seen the movie Surrogates with Bruce Willis? It was in theaters about ten years ago, and frankly I'm a bit afraid that with time we'll all just be lying back on a comfy recliner, unwashed and unkempt, connected to a computer. Our exact copies will go out on dates, to see friends or to go to work - robotic surrogates.

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