Fast confession - Monika Marešová: I hide my love from the world

Apart from being a full-time mother, you also have a new job and a new hobby. How do you fit it all in and above all: How are you doing in general?

I am doing really well, I am divorced, so I have the feeling that I got some kind of karmic treatment. Me and the children have bought a new cottage, so we are renovating that now and getting our recreational nest in order and I am also working at the Petra Clinic with a friend of mine. I am a coach and also PR Manager there. But I am more of a full-time mother who sometimes feels like a taxi driver. (laughs) You will know what I mean when your daughter gets older. You will be a taxi mum too. 

It is quite demanding being a full-time mother without a nanny and working on top of that. How do you organise things?

I don’t work every day. I only go into work a few days a week and always only in the morning because there is nobody to pick up the children for me in the afternoon. I don’t have nannies, sometimes I rely on granny and sometimes their dad has them. I have a wonderful boss who is very accommodating and I am able to work at home a lot. 

So you have never thought about hiring a nanny?

I never wanted a nanny because my theory is that you have children because you want to be with them and bring them up rather than getting some stranger to do that for you. I of course understand if a person needs to work due to financial pressures and arranges to have somebody else pick up the children. I am no career woman and I really enjoy being with my children. They are the most important thing for me and I am well aware that it is for a limited time only. They will soon fly the nest and won’t need me anymore. Kuba is already starting puberty, so I will soon start to be an embarrassment for him. But for the time being when I ask him: “am I embarrassing”, he says: “Noooo!”. So I am enjoying things as much as possible while I can. 

You mentioned that the divorce karmically cleansed you. You once also said that no men were interested in you precisely due to that marriage, even though you in fact weren’t together anymore... Do you think that those men were afraid of being written about in the media?

I never thought about it. But everybody told me that even though I was not together with Leoš, we were still bound together. That was also confirmed for me by a fortune teller who said that while I was not yet divorced, there would still be some bond there and I wouldn’t get myself a decent man. Then, in part also due to the circumstances, I said to myself that it was the right time for it to happen and for me to get divorced. I feel better now. 

And what about men?

Nobody has turned up yet, but I am not even looking. I am not saying that I am always alone. There might have always have been someone around, but I don’t flaunt that in the media. 

So that picture we see in the media of “Poor Monika, she is all alone…” is wrong. You just don’t flaunt your partners.

When I am with someone, I am with them and I don’t feel the need to shout it from the rooftops and things are always a little about that partner too. If he doesn’t want me to talk about him, I don’t talk about him. If he told me that I can or if he were in fact offended that I was denying our relationship, I would of course confess to it. But most of them didn’t want that. 

Does it suit you better if nothing is known about your partners?

It is more comfortable, because I have my peace and quiet. When there were men in my life, we didn’t hide it. We went to the cinema like normal people, we went out for dinner, into town and so on, but I never told journalists about it. 

People say that when one door closes, another opens and if someone is alone and would welcome another person in their life that they have their window open. Is your window open?

Yes (laughs). But I am not rushing things. If it is meant to happen, it will happen. 

Luxusní rodinné domy a vily, Praha 6

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What should that man look like? 

There has to be that chemistry there and if that chemistry is not there then it will never work. There was one man who was unable to understand that the chemistry wasn’t there and that I really didn’t want anything to do with him. He kept saying to me “It will come in time!” but I told him straight away “It won’t come! It just isn’t there.” 

Was that some sort of hardcore admirer?

You could put it that way. But I could never be with somebody who I feel nothing for just for the sake of being with him. 

Does the chemistry have to be there right away?

It doesn’t have to be there right away, but there must be something there. If there is nothing at all, then there is no point. 

Have you ever said to yourself that there would be nothing there and then to your surprise there was after some time?

Probably not. I feel that if that “something small” is not there from the start, then it won’t come in time. But other than that, I don’t care what that man looks like, if he is bald, tall, hairy, blonde or dark-haired. 

And what about age? What is your limit? Lower and upper. (laughs)

I would like him to be more or less the same age as me. I get the feeling that I have tried out absolutely everything (laughs) 

What was the lower and upper limit?

The lower was .... I’m not sure I should say. 

You have to! (laughs)

There was a nineteen-year difference. His mother was only two months older than me. But he was mentally mature. We really got on well. Although my friends told me that I must be mad at the start, they told me I was right and that they had underestimated him when they got to know him. And my oldest partner, he was about fourteen years older. But I tend rather to go for the younger ones. But I do feel that age is absolutely irrelevant. The young ones are often just as much from another planet as the old ones (laughs). Age is not important. It is more about the fact that I am young in spirit and the old ones can’t keep up. I enjoy life, so maybe that is why I attract younger men. If I look back, then I would say that eighty percent of my men were younger. Even if the difference in age was only half a year... 

Did you ever introduce any of them to your children? How in fact do the boys react to your partners?

They did meet some of my partners, but it is difficult. When you are alone in bringing up the children and don’t have anyone to look after them - you would never see your partner. So I did introduce some of my partners to the boys. They are completely amazing. As they don’t have a dad at home, they really like it when there is a man around. But not that they see him as a replacement dad, I don’t mean that. 

So you don’t get that sort of situation when the children do things on purpose to get rid of their mother’s new partner as quickly as possible. 

Not at all, I never experienced that. I didn’t for example tell them that we were together like that at the start, but that it was a friend. They didn’t really realise anyway... 

But the older one is already at an age when he could understand...

So we will see. I haven’t had to deal with that yet... 

As far as work is concerned, you have only held the position of PR Manager for a while. That is a slightly different discipline to taxiing the children around.

They contacted me because I had experience in radio promotion, so I do have a little experience there. But times have changed. Now is a time of social networks, so I will have to work a bit harder on that. 

Your older son Jakub can help you with that. Apparently he is quite proficient in that area...

I have already told him that he will have to teach me. He is really into that, but Instagram is only allowed from the age of thirteen. He is 12 and in view of the fact that we have some “nice” journalists here, they wrote an article about how he shouldn’t have it and the administrators then blocked him. So he always creates a new Instagram account and they block him again. Kuba says he doesn’t care and that he will keep doing it that way until he is thirteen. 

He really is determined and full of energy.

He doesn’t give up. 

Does he take after you in that or after Leoš? 

After Leoš I would say. I would have given up on that ages ago. But he is stubborn. Three months ago, he told me that he wanted to be a famous youtuber and he created a YouTube channel. Why not. It’s nice. 

Better than him taking drugs...

Definitely. And he says to me: “Mum, will you mind if I only make a living as a youtuber until I am twenty-three or twenty-five?” That is because I often tell him how important education is. I am passing on what our parents said to us. As far as youtubers are concerned, I would say that it is nice, but only for a limited time, he can’t after all be a youtuber forever – that would be stupid. He should study. So I told him that it wouldn’t bother me until he was twenty-five because he will be studying at university and if he earns some money while he is studying, why not. He thinks he is going to be a world-famous youtuber. 

He has a lot of genes from his dad, doesn’t he? (laughs)

A few (laughs). Apparently, he wants more followers than his dad, that is his goal. 

That is a very ambitious goal!

And he says that logically he will have more of them because his dad is only for the Czech Republic and he will be doing it for the whole world and will also have videos in English. He is really into it. I am the one who keeps him in check a little, to make sure things are coherent and I sometimes tell him to play the video again before he uploads it. He also feels that he will be able to earn a huge amount of money. 

Maybe he will.

I really hope he does. But I really like the way he thinks about me. For example, he asks me: “What sort of cars do you like? I am going to buy you one when I am a youtuber!!” Or he came up to me and asked: “Mum, do you like Gucci?” I have no idea where that came from. So I said: “I most certainly do, but I can’t afford to shop there.” “That doesn’t matter mum, because when I am a famous youtuber and making all that money, I will take you shopping there.” It is so lovely that he doesn’t think only about himself. He has also promised me a huge house with a swimming pool... (laughs) 

You are going to have a wonderful life when your son is a famous youtuber.

I am happy that he knows where he wants to go and that he could achieve something with his stubbornness. He has Leoš’s nature. Leoš is also really hard-working, stubborn and also talented. So we will see. 

And your younger son?

Matěj is still a little boy. I don’t think he takes after his father. He is my smiling little sweetheart. 

If love came your way, would you want a third child?

Well... I will be turning 43, so I get the feeling that it might no longer be technically possible. I can’t really imagine it, but my motto is “Never say never” .... and if I were to have another, a girl please! 

Once last question. What are you concentrating most on in life at the moment?

I feel like I am only concentrating on renovation of that cottage and it is already getting on top of me a little. At moments like that, I really do feel alone because I have to deal with all the things to do with the construction work and on top of that I have the children and my work. It really is demanding. 

You need a helper.

I think they must have run out of those! (laughs)