I'm taking in a former millionaire: His wealth disappeared, but the demons of the past moved in with me
Imagine a situation where you've fallen in love with a man who used to be a millionaire. He lived in luxury, traveled the world, owned expensive cars, grand villas, and could afford anything he could think of. Today, however, his situation is completely different. He no longer has millions in his account, maybe he is even struggling with debts or trying to get back on his feet. Nevertheless, you decide to marry him. Is it true love or a naive step into the unknown?
Each of us imagines what it would be like to live in luxury. Wealthy people often lead a carefree life where there are no limits and possibilities are endless. But what happens when all of that disappears? Many former millionaires admit that the loss of their fortune was not only a financial, but also a psychological test for them. Some cope with it and find a new purpose in life, but others struggle, live in the past and cannot adapt to new conditions. This can be a big challenge for a relationship. If your partner is still drowning in memories of their former glory, it can negatively affect your shared life. My friend has also found a man like that.
When Teresa first met Adam, she had no idea that he once belonged to the wealthiest men in the country. He was a tall, somewhat thoughtful man in a simple shirt, sitting at the bar in a small Prague café, looking as if he were contemplating the meaning of life. Teresa was just ordering a coffee when a coin rolled out of her pocket and stopped right at his feet. Adam picked it up and handed it to her with a smile.
"Maybe this coin will bring luck to both of us,"
he said mysteriously. Tereza smiled, but had no idea what these words actually mean.
The millionaire who lost everything
Adam was once a successful businessman in the real estate sector. He owned luxury apartments, hotels, and cars, traveled around the world and lived a life that many people dream of. However, when the financial crisis came, bad investments and scams, from his own business partners, made him lose everything. From one day to the next, a person who had everything became someone who had to borrow for rent. He lost his house, friends turned away from him and he fell into depression. He started drinking, sometimes spending days locked in his room, not answering phone calls and avoiding people. There were times when he tried to earn money by gambling, but he lost even the little he had left. Once he even borrowed money from dubious people, which got him into even bigger trouble. When Tereza met him, she had no idea about his past. They talked about books, about movies, about life. It was only after a few weeks that he confessed who he once was.
"You know, I used to be a millionaire..."
he said with irony in his voice.
At first, Teresa didn't believe it. This unassuming man, who now lived modestly and worked as a financial advisor, used to buy cars for millions? But when he showed her old photos, she understood that he was not lying.
"And now you're here, in a small cafe, with me. What happened?"
she asked.
Adam began to tell her everything gradually - how he lost his company, how he drowned himself in alcohol, in debts, and how he tried to get back. Teresa was not afraid of his past. On the contrary, she saw that he was no longer the superficial person who surrounded himself with expensive things. He was humble, he knew how to appreciate little things, and most importantly, despite all the falls, he did not give up.
New Beginnings and Obstacles Along the Way
Their relationship was not simple. Adam was constantly haunted by his past. Sometimes, under pressure, he would reach for the bottle. He once even disappeared for two whole days, and Teresa had no idea where he was. She found him in an old guesthouse, where he sat alone in a room, staring at the wall.
"You cannot live like this,"
she told him.
He knew she was right. Teresa held onto him, but did not allow him to slide back. When Adam proposed to her after three years, he did not do it with an expensive ring or on a luxurious holiday. They were together on a small lookout in the woods where they used to walk, and he simply said to her:
"I can't promise you wealth, but I can promise you that I will never leave you."
Tereza smiled and said: "That's more to me than any luxury."
Their wedding was simple, but full of genuine joy. It wasn't in a luxury hotel, but on a small vineyard. They didn't have any lavish decorations and hundreds of guests, they had something more valuable - true love, which survived a fall and rebirth. Adam was never a millionaire again and found a woman who loved him regardless of how much money he had.
Change in attitude towards money
One of the biggest surprises for the former millionaire during wedding preparations is the perspective on money. If he used to pay for the most expensive dresses, rented luxurious spaces, or had the best designers at his disposal, today he finds himself in a situation where he has to carefully monitor every expense.
The wedding of the former millionaire can be surprisingly simple, but so much more focused on the real values - love, family, and friends. Money is no longer in the foreground, and although not completely ignored, it is often balanced by what is truly important.
Humble, but original
While some traditional wedding customs may not change, former millionaires often give the wedding a special flair. They may decide to have a small wedding, with only the closest relatives and friends, which is in contrast with their previous life, which may have been teeming with invited celebrities, media and ostentation. Such a wedding is often unforgettable for its intimacy, where the attention is mainly focused on the couple and their love, not on external luxury.
Wedding as a new beginning
The wedding is a symbol of a new beginning for him. Sometimes after the loss of wealth, there comes a rediscovery of life where other values are important. Even though they might have been considered status people before, after the fall, they have to face challenges in personal and professional life. The wedding in such case can be associated with deep emotions and a desire to start again. For such people, it is an opportunity to show that the real value is not in money, but in love, trust, and the ability to create a new life.
Why are you marrying him?
So! Before you marry a former millionaire, you should ask yourself a few fundamental questions:
Do you love him as he is today, or are you attracted to his past?
If you are primarily attracted to his former lifestyle, this could be a warning signal. However, if you value his personality, abilities, and shared experiences, your relationship has a firmer foundation. It is also important whether he can come to terms with his past. If he can't move on and remains in frustration, it could negatively affect your relationship. Conversely, if he has accepted his mistakes and is ready for a new start, it could be a significant advantage. His past can also affect your life together. You might be affected by unresolved commitments, debts, or other problems. It's important to know what you're getting into and consider whether you're prepared to handle potential complications.
Advantages and Disadvantages
The ex-millionaire has gone through ups and downs, gaining valuable experiences not only about money but also about life. Even though he no longer has a large fortune, his contacts can open doors for new opportunities in his career or business. If he has accepted the loss as a life lesson, he can be humbler and appreciate what he has more, thus bringing deeper gratitude and a realistic view of values to the relationship.
Life with him can also be challenging, especially if he was unable to cope with the loss of wealth. Psychological pressure, frustration, and mood swings can affect everyday life, as can unpaid debts which might burden him. Moreover, if he still harbors unrealistic expectations regarding a return to wealth and refuses to adapt to the new reality, it can lead to tension and uncertainty about the future together.
Interesting facts about former millionaires
80% of millionaires lose their wealth within 10 years - According to statistics, most people who get rich quickly (e.g. through winning or successful entrepreneurship) do not know how to effectively manage their finances and end up in debt.
Falling from the top is mentally challenging – Losing wealth can lead to depression, anxiety, and even mental disorders. Some former millionaires admit it took them years to cope with it.
Some will become successful again – There are stories of people who started from scratch after a crash and built new wealth. For example, Donald Trump was once heavily in debt, but later became the president of the United States and became wealthy again.
Hollywood loves stories about former millionaires – Movies like The Wolf of Wall Street or The Pursuit of Happyness show how the life of a wealthy person can suddenly change direction.
Formerly rich people often have problems with the law – Many lose their wealth due to legal disputes, tax debts, or bad investments. For example, famous boxer Mike Tyson earned more than 300 million dollars during his career, but later fell into poverty.
Some return to a simple life after losing their wealth – Former millionaire Karl Rabeder, an Austrian entrepreneur, voluntarily gave up his wealth and decided to live minimally, because he realized that money does not bring him happiness.
He became a castaway
Speaking of modest conditions, let's look at a millionaire who has been written about extensively by the media. David Glasheen lost his fortune in the 80s, packed up his suitcase, and moved to a remote island.
Forty years ago, he was at the peak of his successful career. He came from a well-off family, worked in the tobacco industry, and later established an ice cream brand. He longed for independence, so he invested in gold exploration in Papua New Guinea. During the investment boom, shares in his company skyrocketed, and his wealth climbed into the millions. He lived the life of his dreams – he had a family, luxury properties in Sydney, and enjoyed holidays in exclusive resorts.
On October 19, 1987, a massive stock market crash occurred on Wall Street, destroying more than 500 billion dollars in a single day. The Australian market followed, with shares losing up to 40% of their value over two days. Glasheen had most of his wealth in stocks, but as the chairman of the company, he couldn't sell his shares to prevent further panic among investors. The value of his shares collapsed. In addition, he had massive debts that banks began to collect. Until 1991, he was homeless, completely broke. This financial collapse ruined his marriage and tore his family apart. Glasheen turned to alcohol, became irritable and closed off. For several years he tried to survive, slept at friends' places, and worked in the mining industry.
In the end, he settled down with a woman named Denika and began to try and start a new life. However, he still longed for escape, for something completely different. When a friend mentioned the possibility of renting a secluded island, an old desire awoke in him again. Maʼalpiku Island National Park, also known as Restoration Island, was more than 3,200 kilometers from Sydney and it was hard to get there - several flights, 40 kilometers on shattered roads, and finally a 15-minute boat trip. A group of businessmen acquired the island in 1979 for 30 years and later extended the contract for 50 years, transferring two thirds to the indigenous people, the Kuuku Ya'u tribe. The businesspeople decided to sell the remaining third of the island for 1.2 million dollars. Glasheen did not have such an amount, but he convinced investors to rent him the habitable part of the island. He eventually became the owner of one of the eight parts with the condition that the island would be developed. The co-owners planned to build an eco-resort, but the project was stuck in legal issues. In 1997, Glasheen decided to move to the island permanently. He never returned to normal life after that.
When he arrived there, he was overweight and struggling with alcoholism. Today, almost eighty years old, he claims to be in the best shape of his life. With his blue eyes, long white hair, and tanned skin, he reminds one of Santa Claus on vacation. On the island, he became an inventive survivor. He built several structures, including a main residence with a floor made of driftwood and a roof made of sheet metal. He was also visited by celebrities, such as former McDonald's boss Fred Turner and actor Russell Crowe, who stopped by during his honeymoon.
Although he claims to be "secluded, not lonely", he admits that he misses the proximity of other people. His ex-partner Denika initially lived on the island with him, but eventually left with their son. He tried online dating, but without success. Today, he jokes that his "girlfriends" are two mannequins – Phyllis and Miranda. However, the biggest loss was the separation from his family. His son, now a twenty-two-year-old DJ, visits him only rarely. Decades ago, his daughter took her life, which almost destroyed him. Glasheen has been living on the island for over 20 years, but technically has no right to stay there. In 2012, the main leaseholder of the island sued him and achieved a final decision about his eviction. However, the local police and the Kuuku Ya'u community support him, so he stays for now. For years, he tried to buy the island and transform it into a healing centre, which he would donate to the indigenous people. But he needs at least $500,000 to do so. Today, he sees money as a "false god", but still tries various ways to raise it - from corporate stays to investing in cryptocurrencies. Glasheen is one of the few people who have voluntarily decided to live like a hermit. Today, he sees life outside the island as a "real prison". Things that once mattered to him now seem meaningless.
How to build a happy marriage with a former millionaire?
The key to a harmonious life with a former millionaire is open communication about finances, expectations, and the future to avoid misunderstandings. Support is important, but you should not take on all the financial responsibility yourself if he does not show effort to rebuild his career. The past should not control your present life - focus on what you have today, and do not expect a return to luxury. Be realistic, and prepare for the fact that if your partner continues to harbor grandiose dreams without a solid foundation, it may be challenging to live in more modest conditions.
Source: author's text, threads.net, thehustle.co
